I had an interesting moment last weekend when I caught up with a friend I hadn’t seen in a few months, not intentionally – just life. I’d felt we hadn’t connected much in quite a while but didn’t think much of it as I know friendships cycle in and out quite a bit and things get in the way.
After chatting away she said to me ‘I’ve been really jealous of people lately, including you.” My response was something along the lines of “Huh? Me? Wtf you crazy cat?”
After talking and unravelling what was really going on, she said that she was super happy for me and all I’ve been doing, and it wasn’t so much that she was jealous of me, it was more that she was pissed off at herself for not doing the things she really wanted to be doing whilst I was getting out there and just doing them!
Interesting… I didn’t expect it at all, especially not from a friend! And it really got me thinking a lot about jealousy.
I know for a lot of us ‘lightworkers’ and woman who choose to ‘shine their light’, something that we are afraid of is outshining others and making them feel bad. It’s something I’ve always struggled with too, although I’m frign happy to admit that I have finally just let that shit go for good. Why? Because our purpose here is to shine our light and wake others up to theirs too. And how the shit will we ever do that if we are tip-toeing around waiting for everyone to be happy and ok with it? I sure as hell ain’t waiting….
So what’s the deal with this jealousy thing and what can you do about it?
Jealousy is a manifestation of our soul’s frustration in not allowing it to create what it desires.
Just read that line again. And again. And again.
I’m guessing if you’re like me (Yah – I get jealous sometimes too, I ain’t no Guru!), it’s usually triggered by social media. Having a cheeky scroll and seeing the highlight reel of others and then letting our Ego’s run wild thinking that their life rocks and ours sucks because they have sooooooo much more than we do. Which for most of the time, is total BS. This little trick is how our ego keeps us feeling ‘less than’ others, and keeps us feeling separate and disconnected from them. We instantly place others higher up on a shiny pedestal and tell ourselves a story that they are better than us. We then feel small, shitty, unworthy and powerless. Sound familiar?
We then question ourselves – ‘What do they have that I don’t? What’s wrong with me?’
Maybe right now you have someone in mind that you are jealous of? Is it their body, their health, their travels, their job, their number of followers? Pin point exactly what it is (if anything), and ask yourself – well what is this actually about?
Is your Ego once again looking for a distraction to keep you from being happy and at peace now? Are you looking for something to stop you from celebrating your own achievements? Maybe it’s “OMG I’ve lost 5kg I feel amazing!’… Followed by “But I’m still not as good as her…. Or but I still don’t have XYZ.” Or “I’m still sooooo far away”
It’s like the moment we celebrate ourselves, our Ego will go looking for comparison to keep us in check and from truly being proud of ourselves. It’s horseshit. And kinda funny.
So notice when the jealousy arises and catch yourself out in the act. Use it as an opportunity to tune in with whats really happening for you.
Ask yourself – is what they have REALLY what I want, or is it just what I think I want?
So often we look at others and say ‘I wish I had that..’ but is it actually what YOU want? Is it in alignment with YOU? For example, I used to always think I wanted a massive shiny mansion and would get jealous of people with huge houses and a pool. But then one day I asked myself, “Do I actually want that, or do I just think I want that?” And I realised that my version of abundance and a ‘mansion’ is simply a cute country house with a big garden and wooden floorboards and a bath. Done deal for me. It was always just my ego saying that what I truly wanted wasn’t ‘big” enough.
And hey – if it IS what you really want in your heart, then use them as inspiration to get the heck moving and create it for yourself too!
There is no room to compare when you too are creating.
When you get shitty at someone rocking their stuff – ask yourself where are YOU feeling disconnected from your creativity, your passion, your joy? Where are YOU deeply unsatisfied but not admitting to yourself? Where are YOU pissed off because YOU keep holding yourself back and procrastinating? Where are YOU letting fear plan your party?
Because the truth us, jealousy is never about them – it’s about YOU. Get real with yourself, and then get in your power and get moving girlllll.
Also, here’s a biggggggg tip for ya – When you see someone with something that you wish to create, or are in the process of creating – thank them. Bless them. Send them love. Let it be a wink from the Universe that yours is in the works too and you’re getting warmer. The moment you start judging another for what you want, is the moment where you push it further away from yourself. You are literally blocking yourself from creating it too because you confuse the heck out of the Universe – one second you want it, and then when someone else has it you hate on them. You be trippin’!
So when the jealousy arises, check in and practice radical self-awareness and compassion. Let your jealousy teach you, and let it take you further into expansion.
Let it shake you and wake you to turbo boost you into your own creation and inspired-action.