Looking back on 2016 – it’s been a biggie on many levels. I had soo many things written down at the start of this year that I wanted to call in/create/achieve, but things didn’t really go the way I thought they would.
On January 1st, I wrote the word SOAR in the sand and declared it as my theme word for this year, not really knowing what that meant or what it would look like.
At the start of the year I created and launched my first 8 week ecourse, Head to Heart. The process of idea to finished product took about 4months of being in the zone. I learnt how to organise, manage, express my vision, delegate, budget, ask for help, prioritise and get shit done pretty quickly. And then launching a project close to my heart and truly putting myself out there was a whole other level.
I truly learnt about the creative process – writing like a demon when the words were flowing, and pulling back on the days when they just weren’t there and being totally ok with it. I learnt about backing myself and believing in the work that I do, seeing the value in it and not being afraid to share who I am and what I’m here for. This whole process made me stronger in myself, I became clearer in my strengths and also got cozy with the areas that don’t come so naturally to me.
For a long time this year I was judging myself for not being feminine enough – “I need to chill out more”. “I need to be more girly and feminine”, “I need to be more like them”, “I’m not feminine enough, I need to learn how to do my make-up” – until I remembered that being feminine is not just about pink and flowers. It’s also about embodying fierce passion, courage, love and creating from the heart. My natural ability to get shit done, make decisions and take action fast without overthinking it and sitting around writing pro’s and con’s lists for 6months, I’ve now realised is actually a powerful strength of mine. And I love these masculine traits.
They’ve allowed me to co-create my visions into reality and to manifest quickly (because lez be honest – the DOING plays a huge part in the manifesting process. It’s not just a fluffy ‘if it’s meant to happen it will’ gig. You gotta show up for that shiz!). It’s allowed me to move through fears fast rather than sit and stare at them for months thinking they have control over me. And not just that, I’ve seen how quickly my coaching clients have been able to move forward in their fears and reach their goals because together we eliminate the BS, take out the fluff, simplify and focus on the action and allow things to move quickly. What a joy! This isn’t to say I’m not feminine, or that I don’t care about that side of me, but I’m surrendering into and embracing my fiery masculine side, without the judgement.
A few weeks after launching my ecourse I remember lying in bed one night and asking “Ok Universe, what’s next? What would you like me to do?” Thinking I’d be cruising for a while, maybe running a few rounds of my ecourse before anything new… No deal. Straight up I heard the response “It’s time to teach Kundalini Yoga”. I remember the feeling when I heard it, and it wasn’t an instant joy buzz. It was a ‘for fuck sake, haven’t I done enough growing for a while? How the shit am I going to pay for that? I’m not ready. No way, I can’t teach that at LEAST for another few years. I’m not ready. Nope I can’t! Not doing it.” (more…)